Running Sideways

Sometimes all I wanna say to some people is to shut the fuck up. I make more money than your parents and I’ve done it coming from shit. I know more about life than your shitty little pea brain knows about shit.

Just what do you do when you can’t get to sleep without drinking yourself to sleep. Just what do you do when its the only thing you can think off in your waking hours. When you ignore the bleeding heart and carry on like a zombie through the days. When you’re indescribably hurt but no one else can know what you’re going through. When you are just forced to laugh it off as a joke in front of other people. What do you do. Coz I’m drowning.

I can’t get my feet up off the edge
I kind of like the little rush you get
When you’re standing close to death
Like when you’re driving me crazy

Hold on as we crash into the earth
A bit of pain will help you suffer when you’re hurt, for real
‘Cause you are driving me crazy

Bite your lips, the word’s a robbery
Do you grin inside? You’re killing me
All along we talked of forever
I kind of think that we won’t get better
It’s the longest start, but the end’s not too far away
Did you know? I’m here to stay

We’ll stagger home after midnight
Sleep arm-in-arm in the stairwell
We’ll fall apart on the weekend
These nights go on and on and on

I can’t keep your voice out of my head
All I hear are many echoes of
The darkest words you said
And it’s driving me crazy

I can’t find the best in all of this
But I’m always looking out for you
‘Cause you’re the one I miss
And it’s driving me crazy

Bite your lips, the word’s a robbery
Do you grin inside? You’re killing me
All along we talked of forever
I kind of think that we won’t get better
It’s the longest start, but the end’s not too far away
Did you know? I’m here to stay

We’ll stagger home after midnight
Sleep arm-in-arm in the stairwell
We’ll fall apart on the weekend
These nights go on and on and on

Fucking long day at work. Met an asshole.

Got into a fight.Broke up.

Got caught in the rain trying to catch a taxi.

Fucking huge price on the taxi fare.

Home alone with not much energy to feel any emotion.

Will you think of me,
In time?
It’s never my luck,
So nevermind.
I wanna say your name,
But the pain starts
again,
It’s never my luck,
So nevermind.

And I had a dream that you were with me ,
It wasn’t my fault,
You rolled me over,
Flipped me over,
Like a somersault.
That doesn’t happen to me.
I’ve never been here before.
I saw forever in my never,
And I stood outside her
Heaven.

Will you wait for me,
In time,
It’s never my luck,
So nevermind.
And yeah I’ve lost a lot of what I
Don’t expect to ever return.
I tend to push em ‘til the pushing’s turn from
hurtin’ to burn,
I always take them to that place i thought they wanted
To go.
but end up dancing ‘round,
This clown commands
Applause at his show…..

I had a dream that you were with me,
it wasn’t my fault.
You rolled me over,
Flipped me over,
a somersault.
And that doesn’t happen to me,
I’ve never been here before.
I saw forever in my never,
And I stood outside her Heaven.
Her heaven.

And I could only dream of you and sleep,
but I’d never see sunlight again.
I can try to be with you,
but somehow I’ll end up just losing a friend.
I can only reach for you,
Relate to you.
I’m losing my friend.
Where did she go?
Where?

I had a dream that you were with me,
It wasn’t my fault.
You rolled me over,
Flipped me over,
Like a somersault.
that doesn’t happen to me.
I’ve never been here before.
I saw forever in my never,
And I stood outside her
Heaven.
I stood outside her heaven.
let me in your heaven.
I wanna live inside your heaven

Would you find it in your heart to make this go away and let me rest in pieces?

Nobody said it was going to be easy. it’s such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard. Take me back to the start.

Started work at Shangri la Kuala Lumpur at the Front Desk and it’s been quite an enjoyable experience so far. I’m 2 months+ into the job and I’ve learnt so many things and the people I work with make it so much easier. What can I say? This just feels like a stepping stone to great things. Everything will get better if it goes to my plan and I will achieve my dreams.

I have a few short term goals to save up for in the time being: Computer stuff, Raybans, new earphones and then maybe a phone and then I gotta save up for that holiday in KK at the end of the year. I’m praying very hard that all this things come to fruition because it’ll make me much much happier :)

The one downside theres been to working is that there isn’t much of a life. I can barely meet up with my friends but this will be a great experience and something that will make my resume look so much better. nyehehe.

In regards to a love life, there hasn’t been much apart from those 2 one night stands. I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet. Don’t even know if I have even let go of the previous one. I still miss her and think about her but I’ve gotten stronger over the past few months and I am getting my life back together. It just feels like theres a black cloud following me still but I will fight through it and somehow I just know things will be better soon enough. Hopefully.

Well, theres a small update to how things have been going. Would like to post pictures up but it’ll have to wait till i get a camera :)

P.s. I think I’m getting a belly..:(

Got back from Seremban today. Had a unexpectedly good time there. Met up with Noer for dinner and some DotA at night and he moved out of his place and is gonna stay with me for a few days. Weird shit is I go to sleep at 5 and i left the lights on. Suddenly, I get stung twice and I wake up fucking dazed and there are like 10+ bees flying around in the room =S

Killed those fuckers :) sprayed em up baby! fucking weird is don’t know how they got into the room or wat the hell attracted them. And i got my first 2 bee stings of my life to enjoy for that. Thanks a lot.